Natalie Portman has Betrayed Us

At first this video looks like it is a tribute to one of our greatest prophets, Benny Lava, but at the end her true motives are revealed. After incinerating herself in her own self pity, she reincarnates as an octopus and her prince makes out with her, or worse... it is hard to tell what is really going on here. Whatever it is, neither Dog nor Dr. Dobson would approve. Which is why I am going to have to write two letters: one for the lecherous Natalie Portman; the other to Dr. James Dobson, who I might add, is not written me back because he obviously is not taking this vile threat seriously. Perhaps some Hollywood types have infiltrated his organization and slipped him some mind altering organic tea from Trader Joe's. Who knows, maybe they even got him driving a hybrid now. Still, I mustn't waver in my moral rectitude, or let my doubts become obsession. The good Dr. will write back in good time. Until then, a thorough chastising of Miss Portman is order.


Hat tip to Jessica for noticing and correctly identifying this octanista propaganda. Her work as a foot soldier for P.O.O.P. is outstanding. Perhaps a promotion is in order.