Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Another Eyewitness Account of Satan

I got to warn you it ain't pretty:

Note the fangs and the left eye half open.... And you all thought I was crazy.

Don't Worry Baby

Brian Wilson is a personal hero of mine, in more ways than one. For instance, he loved making music, but it is obvious he didn't like the limelight. I love to karaoke, but I don't like the attention. Clapping is nice, but random women grabbing me on or off stage makes me extremely uncomfortable. I prefer to be the voice people heard and didn't realize it wasn't the album. I think Brian would agree. His heart had something to say, but I don't think he wanted people to see his face delivering it. Watch this video if you don't believe me.

For all those who have Diabetes

It could be worse, you could have diabeetis...

The more you know...

It's been a while...

...but awesomeness is back. Sound the trumpets, roll out the red carpet, and pick up some brown people at Home Despot, because this may be interesting.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The High Priestess and I play poker with a complete tool...

Ahmasi O'Daniel: good hand
D'mitri Wyllchen: lame ass hand
D'mitri Wyllchen: all in on a jack and eight
D'mitri Wyllchen: vs pocket aces?
D'mitri Wyllchen: There is no god.
Ahmasi O'Daniel: nice
Dee Jizzle: hey meghan try dee's nuts
Meghan Stanton: clever
Dee Jizzle: tell me about it
Meghan Stanton: almost as much as jizzle
D'mitri Wyllchen: how appropriate, they're peanuts
Ahmasi O'Daniel: ())=====D
Dee Jizzle: read what it says
Dee Jizzle: NUTS
Ahmasi O'Daniel: ())=====DAmy Browne: nh
Meghan Stanton: but they sell peanuts at the circus
Meghan Stanton: you know that right
Dee Jizzle: thx for enlightening me
Amy Browne: hrmm
dopes! : owned.
Meghan Stanton: your welcome
Dee Jizzle: pure mad skillsssssssss
D'mitri Wyllchen: mad luck
D'mitri Wyllchen: pocket tens
Dee Jizzle: whenever u lose it's luck
Dee Jizzle: quit cryin
Meghan Stanton: no whenver you play it'slick
D'mitri Wyllchen: saying the sky is blue isn't crying
Dee Jizzle: if u consider winning with pocket 10s is luck
D'mitri Wyllchen: it is
Dee Jizzle: u need to learn poker
Meghan Stanton: i play poker
D'mitri Wyllchen: I know how to play thank you
Dee Jizzle: its called skill
Dee Jizzle: get some
Meghan Stanton: not russian roulette
Dee Jizzle: meghan u seem to play bingo
D'mitri Wyllchen: It's called fashion sense, get some
Dee Jizzle: the best thing u can do right now is cry
Meghan Stanton: ...weak.
Dee Jizzle: coz i won with pocket 10s by luck
Ahmasi O'Daniel: they asked about you dee
D'mitri Wyllchen: yeah you did
D'mitri Wyllchen: you didn't see the flop
D'mitri Wyllchen: you had tens
D'mitri Wyllchen: what strategy is that
Dee Jizzle: thats why i go all in pre-flop
D'mitri Wyllchen: check this out
D'mitri Wyllchen: I take a reolver
Dee Jizzle: best hand b4 the flop
D'mitri Wyllchen: I put a bullet in
D'mitri Wyllchen: spin it
D'mitri Wyllchen: it doesn't blow my brains out
D'mitri Wyllchen: I have mad skills
Dee Jizzle: wow
D'mitri Wyllchen: same concept
Dee Jizzle: ur comparing FAKE poker with risking ur life
D'mitri Wyllchen: and I had pocket aces before the other flop
D'mitri Wyllchen: the best hand
D'mitri Wyllchen: the other guy had a jack and eight
D'mitri Wyllchen: I clearly had the better hand
D'mitri Wyllchen: but it didn't work out that way
Dee Jizzle: he got luckty in that case
D'mitri Wyllchen: because of luck
Dee Jizzle: lucky*
D'mitri Wyllchen: exactly
D'mitri Wyllchen: samething with you
Dee Jizzle: but 10 10 is different from 8 J
D'mitri Wyllchen: had an ace shown up you wouldn't have won
D'mitri Wyllchen: luck
Jenifer Stanton: meg fix your damn computer
Dee Jizzle: hahaha
D'mitri Wyllchen: but I had AA
Dee Jizzle: ur pathetic
Dee Jizzle: just keep on playing
D'mitri Wyllchen: That is clearly better than 10 10
Dee Jizzle: dude, quit whining
Meghan Stanton: you're a retard
Dee Jizzle: whom are u talkin to ?
D'mitri Wyllchen: Ok do the math skills boy AA> 10 10
Ahmasi O'Daniel: *****
D'mitri Wyllchen: yet lost
D'mitri Wyllchen: =luck
Meghan Stanton: dee-da-dee
Ahmasi O'Daniel: ***'**
Ahmasi O'Daniel: who re
Dee Jizzle: Meghan u're an ugly face
D'mitri Wyllchen: nice pet rock
Meghan Stanton: ...weak.
Ahmasi O'Daniel: actually meghans kind of hot
Ahmasi O'Daniel: jus sayin
D'mitri Wyllchen: said the toolset with the wannabe aviators
Dee Jizzle: yeah shez definitely a hot white trash girl
Dee Jizzle: agreeed
Ahmasi O'Daniel: like your mom
D'mitri Wyllchen: and you
Dee Jizzle: Ahmasi
D'mitri Wyllchen: 're obviously compensating for a tweezer dick
Dee Jizzle: what a name
Ahmasi O'Daniel: sorry dee jizzle
Jenifer Stanton: if anyone is trash its you
D'mitri Wyllchen: said the guy with "jizz" in his name
Jenifer Stanton: dee
Meghan Stanton: i said the same about Dee Jizzle
Ahmasi O'Daniel: ****in kook
Ahmasi O'Daniel: street kings has a good rant about you
Dee Jizzle: what a bunch of retards
Meghan Stanton: dee-da-dee
Dee Jizzle: i'll just enjoy takin ur money
Dee Jizzle: keep on blabbing suckers
D'mitri Wyllchen: yes enjoy our fiat money
D'mitri Wyllchen: and you keep looking like a douche... we all have parts to play.
Dee Jizzle: okay mama's lil boy
D'mitri Wyllchen: BTW, Pee Wee Herman called and he wants his hairstyle back.
Dee Jizzle: ur mom called and she wants her bra back
D'mitri Wyllchen: Clever Ed Grimmly, think that up all on your own?
Ahmasi O'Daniel: wd grimley -- weak
Ahmasi O'Daniel: thats a pretty clever do i must say
Dee Jizzle: wow, it takes all of you to fight with me
Dee Jizzle: i feel proud
Meghan Stanton: that took a lot of thought, huh?
Ahmasi O'Daniel: say i t loud im whack and im proud
Dee Jizzle: yeah it did, white trash slu t
Dee Jizzle: c ya douchebags
Dee Jizzle: thx for all that money
Jenifer Stanton: f off
D'mitri Wyllchen: come back when you get hair on your balls boy
Ahmasi O'Daniel: awww dont go
D'mitri Wyllchen: It wasway past his bed time
Meghan Stanton: i'm suprised. i didn't think retards knew come backs.
D'mitri Wyllchen: He didn't really.
dopes! : you guys are both retarded for getting mad at someone, online.
D'mitri Wyllchen: Who cares
D'mitri Wyllchen: I was just having fun with the little lad.
Jenifer Stanton: meghan go to br

Friday, February 6, 2009


As only a true member of the church can deliver.

Quite possibly the most AWESOME thing I have ever seen!!!

Warning: You cannot view this video in a sober fashion or we'll get all alpha dog on your ass.


All your base are belong to Stan.

Ok, I'll bite... 25 random things about me.

1. I like tequila, not José Cuervo.

2. I am an Atheist, and no this isn't just a phase I'm going through.

3. Charles Bukowski is one of my favorite writers.

4. I love cheese, which makes my lactose intolerance that more ironic.

5. I have been known to close cupboard doors & flick off light switches with my feet, and shin kick palm trees when I am drunk.

6. Long hair on a woman gets me harder than Chinese algebra.

7. I am pedantic.

8. You truly don't know a person until you play Chess with them.

9. My ASVAB test pointed towards these professions: politician, teacher, sniper, & dancer?

10. Just like in photography, there is a "magic hour" in which I am a pretty damn good pool player; but it's when I'm moderately intoxicated; and like Sisyphus, I never get that rock up that fucking hill.

11. I think Troy is a fuckrock.

12. Yeah, that is an inside joke, and no I am not going to explain.

13. I own an RV and it is named "The Divine Providence": Ironic, isn't it?

14. I have thick healthy Blagojevich-worthy hair down to the middle of my back and it pisses a lot of women off.

15. I am right-handed, though I can be ambidextrous when it comes to most things.

16. I am a liberal Democrat that enjoys the Second Amendment.

17. Brian Wilson's best works were "Don't Worry Baby", "God Only Knows", and "Good Vibrations".

18. I wear eight hole Doc Martins (size 11) and Levi 527's (34/30 boot cut) if you are wondering what to buy me.

19. I love sushi... Yet interestingly enough don't like most cooked fish.

20. I spit on a llama once. He started it. No, really... I was fourteen and my mom yelled at me for it.

21. I am currently studying to be a Radiology Tech.

22. House is my favorite TV show at the moment. Big surprise.

23. There is no "R' in Washington, and if you pronounce it like that you sound ignorant.

24. Of all negative personality aspects, I hate lying. I view it as an insult to my intelligence.

25. If there ever was a "Heaven", it involves wine tasting in Northern California, a whole lot of sex, chocolate and fruit.

Vocalise on the theremin

Randy George, the guy who brought us Gnarles Barkley's, the Super Mario Bros and Zelda theme songs on theremin, is at it again on this piece by Rachmaninov.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

All your base are belong to us!!!

And heavens cracked like an egg, and the Dog of hosts spaketh "All your base are belong to us!!!" And the people who felt the burden of such news cried out in anguish "Oh no, they set us up the bomb!!!"

--2 Bnengets 54:12-13

No truer words have ever been spoken...