Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Chinese even know!

Well, it is confirmed. The Chinese, all the way one the other side of the world, know about the Whore of Babylon. Behold the undeniable proof.

Danielle, please proceed forward to your designated parking area.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Being for the Benefit of Mr Izzard

Ok, well the first part of this clip features Bono playing a self important jackass, of which he does a good job because anyone can play themselves, but shortly after comes Eddie Izzard's rendition Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite which is "bloody brilliant" if I do say so myself. If you haven't seen this movie yet, I highly recommend that you do, and if you have some psychedelic drugs to aid you... well we at the Church of Awesomeness don't condone such satanic acts, but well... you know.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Our Campsite Trash Can Gets Shorter

Upon returning from the general store, Arch Bishop Troy was perplexed by the shrinkage of our trash can. After ruling out shrink rays, aliens, and cold weather, the Ach Bishop correctly identified the phenonenom as it being on fire.

Arch Bishop Troy Devolves

Apparently the juices in the steak have released special enzymes that made Arch Bisop Troy regress into a Cro-magnon. A few moments later he rediscovered fire.

Monday, September 15, 2008

"If I had a Vagina..."

Awesomess has gone mobile!!! Yes it is true, and we kicked off the evening with a feast fit for a king. We grilled three New York steaks, two ears of corn, and a can of grillin' beans. Arch Bishop Troy enjoyed the steak so much that he mused aloud the strangest idea I had ever heard concerning steak.

Official Seal of Awesomeness

Behold the Official Seal of Awesomeness. Be on the look out for this seal. For those things that bare it doth be created of genuine awesomeinity. Beware of the imitations for they do look nigh indistinguishable from the authentic seal. In order to distinguish the indistinguishable, hold the said seal up to an Infa-red light source and lightly sprinkle on some Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. If the seal bursts into flames it doth be counterfeit. If nothing happens, rejoice, for ye have found true and untainted awesomeness.

Do be reminded though this is the Official Seal of Awesomeness, it is NOT the Official Seal of Dog or The Church of Awesomeness. That sacred seal has yet to be revealed to the common peoples of the world. Of course, us leaders of the Church are privy to it's appearance.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A new deity reveals herself: The Goddess of Balance

Behold her in all her Asian yin-yang glory...

Arch Bishop Troy arises from his Fortress of Solitude...

...with his 24 ounce can of Rockstar and a predisposition towards awesomeness. Let the awesomeness begin!!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Pirates of the Caribbean: How it should have ended.

If you don't get the last part you should click here.

They've infiltrated the Power Puff Girls

It is becoming increasingly clear that our children are the ultimate targets of the Octonistas. This does make sense since children are the most impressionable. What angers me the Octonista's ingenious subtlety of their propaganda. At first glance this appears innocent enough: a young super hero girl named Bubbles and her stuffed plush toy octopus. But the devil is in the details you see. While researching the Power Puff Girls, I noticed that she sleeps with this "plush toy". The insinuation becomes even clearer in this picture I found of Bubbles in her pre-teen years...

You see the subtle but significant change? This is how they do it, incrementally. One minute you're enjoying Saturday morning cartoons, the next thing you know this is happening in your household...

Join Parents Opposing Octopus Porn and make a contribution to rid this world of tentacle porn while you still can.

Satan Reveals Her True Form

While acting inconspicous in front of the karaoke machine the beast reveals her true form.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Four Score and Seven Years Ago...

Our fore fathers brought forth on this continent a new Church, one of Awesomeness.