On the ninth day of the eleventh month of the eighth year of the second millenium, a child shall be born. Her birth will usher in an era of awesomeness and prosperity in the world that surrounds her. She will also poopith green.
--1 Bnengetts 7:17
Today is a most sacred day in the Church of Awesomeness. Also, as you may have guessed, church will be postponed for a while.