Friday, August 1, 2008

To Those Who Claim They Possess the Secret...

We at the Church of Awesomeness have taken a firm stand against books that promise easy fortunes long before the Church became orthodox, behold:
Behold there is truth in the world, and those that have observed that have noticed that it sucketh. Whoa to them who suffer from eternal optimism because they most likely have a tapeworm. Striketh down those who claim to knoweth the secret, for most likely they observith Oprah, whether obese or not, and take her seriously... For she is a fat bitch, and no amount of book clubs can changeth that.

--2 Bnengets 5:7-14

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