As you know, we at the Church of Awesomeness have gone out of our way to inform the public of the scourge of Octopus Porn (aka: tentacle porn) which is very much prevalent in today's society. We have brought this plague to the forefront because we feel that modern religious institutions have failed to address this threat to the fabric of society in favor of of focusing on homosexuals and pedophiles as if they could really bring a country to its knees faster than our extremely dexterous adversaries. As you can see the many tenacious tentacles pose a greater threat than that of a gabby prepubescent boy or a purse toting purple Teletubbie could ever hope to: Therefore we as concerned patrons of society have no choice but to bitch-slap the epidemic of our generation. Thus we reaffirm our moral certitude by opposing this bane of humanity, as we focus our resolve in forming Parents Opposing Octopus Porn. Let this day stain the history books...
